Immy Chua

Just Being and Let things Happen….


6 Comments

With or Without Cancer?

IMG_4503I had my follow up CT scan on the 17 March, I don’t like CT scan especially the injection of IV contrast (dye) through my tiny vein, it hurts!  IV stands for intravenous which means the contrast is given through a vein. Generally a vein in your hand, lower arm, or near the elbow joint is used. The contrast is used to “highlight” internal organs such as the liver, kidneys, and pancreas. It helps detect and characterize tumors, infection and disease of the vessels. Before the follow up scan, I told mom that I have few nodes under both of my arms, I was amazed with her reaction! She said I worried too much, just small nodes and very soft! Last year I worried about her worried about me and kept my pain with me because I always know that she is not a strong person. I was completely underestimate her beautiful strength!

My CT scan result was excellent, yes no doubt there are few nodes under my arm but the size are not alarming. Dr. Amir was very happy with the results and asked me to go back again next month for another follow up checkup.

Before the scan, I was quite worried about the new found nodes. These nodes made me learn something very valuable! More than 3 years now, I have been trying to become a cancer free person. I tried lots of methods, dietary healing, energy healing, meditation and finally due to the unbearable pain chemo and radiotherapy! My life was researching about cancer. I remember a good friend once asked me how would I feel if one day, the doctor told me I am cancer free? I did not know how to answer him, I just told him that I knew it would happen! 2 months ago when my doctor told me my scan shown no signs of cancer, I wasn’t jumping up and down feeling happy, I was just glad to know I am cancer free! Now, the new nodes came back, do I really bother? Why I have to be cancer free? Why I have to use so much of my energy trying to become a cancer free person?

Thanks to theses few found nodes, now I will focus of using my energy to live and thrive my life with or without cancer!

Advertisements


2 Comments

Do you know where you are going……?

I was once told by my boss that ‘If you fail to plan, you plan to fail! ‘ So, I was always planning for my life…..because of the fear of failure!

Now, I stop planning and trying so hard to be who I thought I wanted to be and the fear just disappeared and I feel exceptionally good with myself…..my health has improved and I am getting better and feeling happier each and everyday!

Just trust yourself as you would be amazed with how smart and wise you really are without trying so hard….

20130623-203731.jpg


4 Comments

Self_love = Selfish ???

IMG_0045We don’t like to be called Selfish because we believe Self_love is Selfish…at least this is what I always believe!

I was brought up in the culture of giving. Save and give the best to the younger and older. I was also taught not to be selfish. Since I am the eldest in the family, so I became a natural giver. So I relate giving is loving, you should give others first which means you should love others first? This is what I  always believe self_love is selfish!

Until recently my cancer progressed and I was in so much pain and couldn’t do anything then I turned more to myself and asked if I love myself? I also came across Anita Moorjani’s book Dying to be me and Sai Baba’s teaching, they both talked about the importance of self-love!

Self-love is not selfish as what I have been lead to believe! Self-love is to love yourself unconditionally, without judgment and just being yourself and live the life you want and not the life you think other people think you should be! Since I have not been loving myself unconditionally then I never appreciate my body that is why I have cancer! That makes sense to me now! Again, I made myself sick!

Again, cancer is a gift to me and this time the cancer progressed is even a bigger gift to me! I like to share good news, I was reluctant to share my latest health situation as I was not being truthful to myself. I was afraid people judge me and ask me why? why? why? I always like to prove I can heal the cancer and I have been trying so hard to heal the cancer because I told myself and to you all I can. This time the cancer progressed and I viewed myself as a loser! I disappoint you all! The Gerson diet is so hard, I am no longer follow as I was living in so much fear everyday thinking that if I cheat the cancer will come back and now it happens as the results of living in fear!

I believe learning to love, accept, forgive, value, respect, and take responsibility for ourselves in every moment of our life is the key to healing and transforming all of our emotional, physical, spiritual pain, illness, and suffering. Relating to ourselves with unconditional love, kindness, and compassion is the key to transforming and healing our past, and so it is therefore the key to consciously creating all that our heart desires here in the present.

I believe we were not born to suffer. Nor were we born to settle for anything less than the best in all aspects of our life. In fact, we were born to grow, to learn, to create beauty, to love wholeheartedly, to  live fearlessly and enjoying our lives to the fullest each and every day.

I also believe every one of us is destined to live as a unique, free, and full expression of who and what we truly are. We are destined to realize our greatest potential in this lifetime and consciously create a life that is deeply aligned with our own heart and soul. Each of us is destined to live a life that we truly love; one that is full of purpose, passion, consciousness, peace, joy, health, wealth and unconditional love for ourselves, for others, and for all of Life. Just being ourselves and live the life we want! This is what I am experiencing now! I used to think I would be very uneasy and bored if I am not working because I would feel useless! Now, first time in life that I really enjoy not working and just being and let things happen. My finance has been taking care of and I am now loving myself more and more each and everyday. (I will share more how by just being not doing my finance has been taking care of in my next post! )

I also believe once I love myself unconditionally then I would be able to give my love unconditionally, because we cannot give what we do not have! By loving myself unconditionally and stop judging and criticizing myself. My body starts healing because Love heals………

So, do you love yourself unconditionally ?

Sending you all unconditional love……..


17 Comments

Dance with The Universe………..

0It’s Friday but there won’t be any Friday Words of Wisdom as I have GOOD NEWS for 2013!

I just came back from my oncologist appointment for my CT scan results. I mentioned earlier in Dec 2012 that I had back pain and my oncologist decided to send me for a scan!

I was worried that the cancer has metastases but during the whole Dec 2012, I learnt to surrender to The Universe and let The Universe taking care of me, I wrote A Letter to Me to close the 2012 chapter and also connect myself more closely to The Universe and dance along with her! I started my wall squatting and Zhi Neng Qi Gong and have been overwhelmed with the Qi reaction…I feel like I am The Universe and The Universe is me! The feeling of connection and just merge into ONE! Amazingly powerful………

The first response from my oncologist this morning was I do not have enough fat and the scan unable to pick up my lymph nodes (my cancer was originally metastases to my lymph nodes 2 years ago). Then the previously large lesion on my right has regressed!

How I did it?…………..Surrender and Dance with The Universe because The Universe is always taking care of me and you!

Lots and lots of love,

IMmy xxx


8 Comments

A Letter to Me

letter to meDear Me,

Today is the last day of 2012 and I decided to write you my first and last letter to close this chapter of you in 2012 and welcoming the next new and exciting chapter of me in 2013. I have been spending lots of time with you this year and I believe you feel the same as well. I actually enjoyed spending time with you, it took me 44 years to realise the importance of spending time with you just like what I am doing now. This year, the most precious thing you taught me is to “Let Go” in all expects of my life.

My Career: I have always been very ambitious since I was young…in almost everything. I was not only ‘survive’ as a female engineer in male dominated industry but I thrived as an Asian Woman Engineer in the Western World. I wasn’t satisfied as being an engineer, I went further to get my MBA and continued climbing the corporate ladder. I was at the peak of my career and suddenly I was hit by the C-bomb in September 2010. The C-bomb didn’t stop me from my career dream. After 3 months of intensive Gerson Therapy, I went straight back to work again and forgot how the cancer hit me. I was busy again running here and there making myself important and ‘significant’ again. Until October 2011, I was made redundant. Another C-bomb, this time it was the career bomb 😉 My confidence shattered, completely smashed and crashed! Then I started noticing you! You guided me to look inside myself and discovered the FEAR. The FEAR of being not good enough! The FEAR of being rejected! The FEAR of being not having a job! It was such a powerful insight, once I confronted the FEAR and just be completely Ok and let them go. I set myself free. I can’t change what happened but I can change the way I view it. Now, I have 100% faith that as long as I am fulfilling my purpose, being of service and providing as much value to the world as possible, my career and finances will always be looked after. The Universe is always taking care of me and you!

My Health: Since I started Gerson, I have been very focusing on my diet, my coffee enema, my castor oil enema, my vitamins, my B12 injection, my lifestyle, almost everything that might possibly ‘wake up’ the cancer cells. I was living in fear. I was unable to eat out. I have to carry my juices, my enema bucket and vitamins with me wherever I traveled. I wasn’t complaining because I chose to do Gerson.  It was because the more I read and researched about cancer and what caused cancer, I became living in more and more fear to prevent cancer. Just because I know too much and I also want my love ones to live healthy and I kind of expecting my love ones to change their diet and lifestyle. Then I got upset when they ‘don’t care’. Started this year, since I spent more time with you than my career, you guided me to realise if I can’t control other people, there is nothing much I can do except just be with them when they need me. Recently, you also made me realised that focusing solely on “healing my cancer” was counter productive to my goal. I started relaxing my diet and focusing more on my soul, YOU! I stopped stressing myself and started nurturing my inner baby, YOU. Get you connected more closely to The Universe and dance along with The Universe and just be perfectly ok with whatever that happens because…… The Universe is always taking care of me and you!

My Relationship: It took you  about 10 years to forgive my ex husband, Kelvin. I remember the last thing I told him was what he did to me will happen to his family, didn’t realise that it was a curse to him. It happened to his mother, how he treated me was how his father treated his mother.  I want to apologise to you Kelvin, I am sorry to what I did to you. I forgive you because I knew it is not your intention to hurt me same as it wasn’t my intention to curse your family. Mark, we had a great relationship, we were so compatible in everything but we both knew that all these were never been enough to be together. You let me see the side of me that I was avoiding to face, jealously and insecurity. We both went into the relationship with our emotional baggage. I know that you were very sad when you heard I was sick and you blamed yourself of contributing to my illness. I am sorry of making you feel bad. Please forgive yourself of what you did to me same as I am forgiving myself of making you feel bad. Lindsay, thanks for taking care of me when I first started my Gerson. We had a great relationship as we never fight, I just could’t believe that! I am sorry thing didn’t work out between us since my cancer, I know you care, adore and admire me so much. I am sorry and I know you were angry with me. Cancer was supposed to bring us closer but it made me realise what I really want in a relationship. You are a very nice and caring person, if I was just looking for a man to settle as most women do when they were sick, I will just be with you. I want someone who I can feel….just feel…. deeply into his soul and melt and sink into his soul and be part of his soul…..I am looking for a soul mate who is within me not outside me. I might not find him but I will be ok because The Universe is always taking care of me and you!1_142559 Thanks so much for guiding me through this year and set my career, health and relationship free to welcome the new and exciting 2013. I cannot control what happens to me. I can only control how I react to what happens to me, but I need to remain open to rolling with the punches rather than clinging to whatever outcome I have idolised in my minds.  Always remain open because The Universe is always taking care of Me and You!

Lots and lots and tons and ton of love,

IMmy xxx


2 Comments

Friday Words of Wisdom – Unconditional Love

Christmas is coming and we are busy giving and receiving….Christmas is also a time for family to get together and enjoy each other company…..I wish you all open your heart to give and receive all the unconditional love during this festive season….just like our fury friend 😉

 

fury freind

Merry Christmas to you all….lots and lots and tons and tons of LOVE xxx

 

photo


6 Comments

Speak from Heart……Listen with LOVE

Whenever I met up with friends who I haven’t seen for a while, the first question they asked was “You look great! How’s your health? Or are you in remission? ” I used my mind to listen to them and I get “upset”! My mind was telling them what do think? You said I look great then ask how was my health? Then my mouth speak ” I am excellent! Look at me! it has been 2 years now and I am still here! I think my friends still could not believe I did not go through the conventional treatment and I am still alive today! I used to also tell them I am recovering but then I told them I have recovered and now I am going to tell them I am healed because there is nothing for me to heal!

Recently, I have been nurturing my inner baby and shower myself with infinity unconditional LOVE. Last week, met up with a friend and he asked the same question…..suddenly…the ‘upset’ feeling gone….and I feel so much joy that I realized I am so blessed to be surrounded by friends who love and care for me so much that they asked about my health….because I listen with love not with mind…such an incredible shift from upset to joy! Today, again I bumped into an old colleague, she asked the same question and you could just feel her love!

Speak from heart and listen with love then our life will full of joy and happiness! Such a simple life equation! Try it!

Lots of Love,
IMmy xxx


20 Comments

Higher Self…Lower Self….what about Middle Self?

Everyone of us want to be in The Higher Self but we always trap in The Lower Self (The Ego). My cancer journey helps me discover and nurture The Higher Self but The Lower Self keep pulling me off the track and trying to derail me! I think sometimes I fall in between…The Middle Self?

For those we don’t know about my exciting cancer journey…just a summary…doctors gave me a death sentence, I used diet (Gerson Therapy) to heal my cancer. After 3 months of intensive detox, juicing and vitamins. My bladder tumor gone and I am now working on my lymph nodes. This has been 2 years. No chemotherapy, no radiotherapy nor surgery!

The past 2 years I have been focusing on healing The Lower Self, which is my physical body, my tumor…as I believe we all do as we can feel, see and touch! Impressive results! Lots of hard work and dedication as Gerson is a very labor intensive ‘program’. My life changed completely! I feel like I am living in FEAR as I am unable to eat this, eat that! I have to constantly doing my coffee enemas, taking vitamins, juicing etc. My everyday work is juicing, eating, coffee enema and taking vitamins! This is now become my life…and I am ok with it! But inside me…I have the fear if I don’t do this or if I cheat then the cancer will come back! I don’t want to live in fear!

I started relaxing my diet…but still continue with the enema and juicing and vitamins when I feel like! Recently I have back pain and went for my 4 months review. I knew that if I told my oncologist, she was going to make a big deal and yes she did. She wanted me to go for a CT scan.

I am now moving from healing The Lower Self to The Middle Self then The Higher Self….I am practicing my mind to heal my soul….this is what exactly my blog is all about…healing the soul, the mind and the rest will follow…..it is a very big and brave step that I take…as we always fall into The Lower Self!

I am sick because I made myself sick! Why? Because I need attention! Who doesn’t like attention! I need attention from my parents, my family, my friends…..well….now I have all the attention and the healing start! Does this sound like you?

I started appreciating my parents and my family. I want to go home more, I want to spend more time with my parents and family. (FYI, I migrated to Australia and my parents are in Malaysia) I have a physical home here in Australia but my home is still HOME in Malaysia! I still recall when I attended my Australian Citizenship ceremony, a question suddenly popped up in my mind ” Where do I want to be buried when I die?’ My immediate answer is Malaysia!

I am sick because my body is not in harmony with my mind and soul….not in balance, just like the Yin and Yang. How to balance the Yinyinyang2 and Yang? Energy, Energy is Love, Love myself, Forgive myself and practice gratitude! I have been also practice Zhi Neng Qi Gong and I am now more sensitive and aware of the energy…it is so amazing and powerful….I can feel the energy ………just like I am the energy and the energy is me! It is just so peaceful and joyful!

So, am I gliding towards The Higher Self or I am still cruising in The Middle Self? or do I really care? as long as I am not in The Lower Self!

Would love to hear from you if you are in either The Lower Self, The Middle Self or The Higher Self?

Love,

IMmy xxx


10 Comments

Friday Words of Wisdom – The Power of NOW

We are so busy planning for our future and in the mean time living in our past…we forgot just to PAUSE and smell the roses….Living NOW

photo (3)

When I was a teenager, I kept running after the boys….who I thought would become my boyfriend!

When I became an adult, I kept running after the men…who I thought would become my husband/partner!

And NOW, I stop running…and open my heart and soul to receive the people who care about and love me…..they are my parents, my family and friends…I am so blessed that I stop running and start appreciating….it’s that wonderful!

We can run away from our parents but parents will always there for us whenever we need them….that is what you called the unconditional LOVE! If you agree, please press LIKE!

This unconditional love in Chinese called 親情 Qin Qing!

now