Immy Chua

Just Being and Let things Happen….


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Human ‘Do’ing

It has been a while I disappear from here and I guess many of you are wondering if I am ok, well or still around!

I am well and happy!

I went for my holiday back home in Malaysia end of Jan and since I came back in March I have been living with pain. I was so in pain that I couldn’t think and do anything. My parents and family wanted me to go back to Malaysia so they could take care of me, but I chose to stay in Melbourne because I was worried about them worried about me when they saw me in pain! Same as here in Melbourne, friends have been trying to contact me and ask about my condition. I rejected their call and was avoiding them because again I was worried about them worried about me then stressed me out! Until my friend told me I shouldn’t think about them worried about me, I should view it as they care and love me! Then I feel so much better!

I was in pain for about 4 to 6 weeks before I decided to take pain killer and it really helps a lot and now I feel so much better!

About my health! I went for another scan in April, I was so impressed with myself that I have no fear with the results as I told my friend! He said well He worried more than i worried about myself! This is great! Once I told you all my worries then all the worries gone and let you guys worry about me! My results….good news that all my organs are clear! Not so good news my lymph nodes have progressed that’s why I have pain! Not the end of the world !

I have been reading a lot recently. Get to know more about Sai Baba. Also just finished reading Anita Moorjani’s book Dying to be me! Learnt so much from Anita to live fearlessly and just being me. Learnt so much from my Aunty Bee how to just being a Human Being rather than Human Doing! Guess some of you don’t understand what I am saying here!

Let me explain here. For the past 2 1/2 years, I have been living in fear! Even my bladder tumor gone after 3 months of Gerson Therapy, but my lymph nodes still there and I am unable to completely heal because I am living in FEAR, fear of not taking my juices, fear of not doing my enema, fear of not taking my vitamins, my injection, fear of eating meat and all those forbidden foods, fear of not having income to support myself…..that’s why my cancer progressed! I am grateful that the cancer progressed because it again brings me closer to ME…the real ME! I have been living my life that I thought I should be not what the real ME! All my life, I have been very competitive, very ambitious, proactive, persistent…..make things happen! I did the same with treating my cancer…doing this doing that! Since I was in so much pain and unable to work and stay home just relax and listen to me….and just let go and let things happen rather than making things happen….everything just fall into places….like my Aunty Bee told me just Being…..in the moment. Now my finance situation has been taking care of, don’t need to work as I received my income protection claim and government assistance! All these just by Being as friends help me with all the enquires and advice !

Now, I am living fearlessly, I am no longer fear of not having my juices, enema, vitamins. I eat meat when I feel like and eat healthy when I love to not I am fear of cancer! I still experience pain but manageable with pain killer not my preference! I decided to live in ambiguity, every day I am welcoming a new door to my life, I am excited with my new found life journey, full of unknowns
and more unknowns….just let go and live fearlessly and embrace pain! One day, when I open the new red door…you will find a happy, beautiful and cancer free ME because this is the REAL ME! Press LIKE if you like what you read!

We are Human BEING not Human ‘Do’ing! Stop doing and just BEING!

I will continue to write this blog as I have so much so share!

Sending you all unconditional love…..IMmy xoxo

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Atonement

undo-iconI love the movie Atonement and have been trying to relate my journey with it….and this is what I found.

‘Atoning’ means ‘undoing’. Few years ago, my colleague told me it would be good if we could have the ‘undo’ button in our life just like the ‘undo’ button in the computer! Those days I thought it was impossible! Now I believe it is possible. How?

We might not be able to undo our action but we could undo the mistaken ideas in our mind.

The following are the insights from A Course in Miracle which explains Atonement.

The purpose of the Atonement is to undo all the errors in our mind. Joining with mistaken thoughts is the source of all our fear. 

Miracles are natural, corrective, healing and universal, they cannot be performed in the spirit of doubt or fear. When we are afraid of anything, we are acknowledging its power to hurt us. Where our heart is, there is our treasure! We believe what we value. If we are afraid, we are valuing wrongly. Our understanding will then inevitably value wrongly and by endowing all thoughts with equal power will inevitably destroy peace.

The means for the Atonement is the acceptance of miracles, which is the correction of our perception. As we listen to the Voice of The Universe, the errors in our mind are corrected. The Atonement uproots the source of fear. As we accept a correction in our perception, we just naturally join in the plan of the Atonement, because minds are joined. We are all ONE.

We are the extension of Love. The more we identify our self as being Love’s extension, the more we will just naturally extend the Love that we are.

By choosing the miracle we are really choosing to forgive and the more we do that, the more we are able to extend this forgiveness to other people. When that whole process or chain is completed, that is the Atonement. In forgiving you, I am also forgiving all the other people in my life, or other lives, who have represented the same problem. All minds are joined. If I have a problem with you then behind you as a specific example of that, would be all the other people in my life with whom I have had the same problem. So that Atonement corrects and heals all aspects of the same issue, even when we are not aware of it.

My blog so far have been about Love, Forgiveness, Miracles, Healing, Peace…..and now it all make sense to me about Atonement!

So, please make use of our Undo button because we really have it…..in our MIND…


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How do you know when you are healed? Part 1

YarnAfter spending so much quality time with Cancer, I realised cancer not just known medically as a malignant neoplasm involving unregulated cell growth. Cancer is the product of years of accumulative unresolved emotional baggage deep rooted inside my heart…..it is just like a messy ball of yarn. I have many friends and friends’ of friends contacted me asked how I healed my cancer, when I told them to look deep inside their heart to search for their unresolved emotional baggage, I never heard from them. It is not easy to face the fear and unveiled your emotional baggage….because it is painful and painful and painful….lots of tears and tears and tears….this is what I mentioned in my earlier post about WHY NOT?

I was and still very fortunate to have a guardian angel guarding me to uncover layers upon layers of my emotional baggage, just imagine like peeling layers of onion…it hurts! This is when healing journey began….

My late brother diagnosed of leukemia when he was 21, on the 9 September 1993 (it was my birthday), he was in Ole Miss, in his final year of college. My dad went to Ole Miss for his first chemo treatment, first treatment was ok. During second treatment, he was admitted to intensive care. I went back to Malaysia, picked up my mom and went to Ole Miss. The moment I stepped into the ICU, I fainted. I had not seen him for almost 5 years, the moment I saw him, I couldn’t recognise him, he lost all his hair and he just looked like a sleeping skeleton! My heart was broken. When he woke up, he couldn’t talk we communicate by writing on a piece of paper. The first thing he asked if I was working there, he seemed expecting me.

I spent about one and a half month in Ole Miss with him. After the ICU, he was discharged and his condition gradually improved. He told me to go home as we still have 2 brothers back home. I left him, yes I left him and I never see him again…..He passed away on the 3 March 1994. My parents brought his ashes home.

I left my brother…this was the emotional baggage that I was carrying with me. I wanted to feel how he felt when he was alone overseas when he received the news he had cancer. I blamed myself that I left him! After 16 years, I made myself sick as I never forgive myself of leaving him. I punished myself! During the process of uncovering this pain, I came to realise this was the game that I had been playing with my brother…..again and again…My brother never blamed me of leaving him, in fact he was perfectly ok with me leaving him and went back to be with my other 2 brothers. Healing needs lots of unconditional forgiveness….I forgive myself of punishing myself for so long, I forgive myself of not trying to spend more time with my brother, I forgive myself of not being with my brother the moment he needed me the most, I forgive myself of making myself sick, I forgive myself of not forgiving myself……the moment I forgive myself, the healing began and after 3 months of unconditional loves from my parents…my tumor disappeared without chemotherapy, radiotherapy or surgery.

How do know when I am healed?…………When I can tell the story and it doesn’t bring up any pain….I finally realise I am healed….In fact, now I talk about my brother, I can feel him, he just next to me and look at me and tell me how much he loves me….


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Speak from Heart……Listen with LOVE

Whenever I met up with friends who I haven’t seen for a while, the first question they asked was “You look great! How’s your health? Or are you in remission? ” I used my mind to listen to them and I get “upset”! My mind was telling them what do think? You said I look great then ask how was my health? Then my mouth speak ” I am excellent! Look at me! it has been 2 years now and I am still here! I think my friends still could not believe I did not go through the conventional treatment and I am still alive today! I used to also tell them I am recovering but then I told them I have recovered and now I am going to tell them I am healed because there is nothing for me to heal!

Recently, I have been nurturing my inner baby and shower myself with infinity unconditional LOVE. Last week, met up with a friend and he asked the same question…..suddenly…the ‘upset’ feeling gone….and I feel so much joy that I realized I am so blessed to be surrounded by friends who love and care for me so much that they asked about my health….because I listen with love not with mind…such an incredible shift from upset to joy! Today, again I bumped into an old colleague, she asked the same question and you could just feel her love!

Speak from heart and listen with love then our life will full of joy and happiness! Such a simple life equation! Try it!

Lots of Love,
IMmy xxx


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Guardian Angels…Did you choose them or They Chose you!

Do you have a guardian angel?How did you know if he/she is your guardian angel? How many guardian angles do you have? Did you find them or they found you?

My first guardian angel is my late grandma and she is still my guardian angel! I shared a room with her until I was 18 when I moved to Australia to further my study. She never been to school but she was wiser than any women in her generation! She said no matter how hard your life is, the harder you fell and rolled (just like a rock) one day you will become round and smooth!

I met my second guardian angel on the net, yes Internet! We only met once and it was 12 years ago! Sometimes I keep asking myself if he is real! He sent me energy when I needed, we never plan to meet again, we just go with the flow……when I am down he is always there for me! We both believe we are living in this big dream and we are all connected.

When I was diagnosed of cancer 2 years ago, my colleague became my guardian angel. He was my ex-colleague then became my boss I remember when I told him that I had cancer, he said ” oh shit! “. I somehow have faith in him than the doctors! He helped me peel off layers upon layers of my emotional baggages, just like peeling layers of onion….then a year later, he was asked to break the bad news to me that I was made redundant from my job as an engineer! He is still my guardian angel and now we are working on the same project but representing different firm! I don’t think I can get rid of this guardian angel! He is there whenever I need him!

My latest guardian angel…..found me yesterday! I never met him, I think is him still not sure as he might be a her! He helped me realized my real FEAR, it was such a powerful insight of realizing my MIND is my FEAR! I always know that I have fear….the fear of being not good enough, the fear of being rejected, the fear of my cancer will come back, the fear of breaking the news to my family, the fear of not having a job and income……All these fear are from my mind….they are not real! I really blessed that my guardian angel just knock on my door and shower me with lots of love and guide me to the next level!

I didn’t choose my guardian angels, they chose me! Guardian angels are everywhere, if you listen and ask, they will come and knock on your door, don’t let fear stop you from unlocking the door and let the guardian angel come in and shower you with loves!

Lots of love,
IMmy xxx