Immy Chua

Just Being and Let things Happen….


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Do you know where you are going……?

I was once told by my boss that ‘If you fail to plan, you plan to fail! ‘ So, I was always planning for my life…..because of the fear of failure!

Now, I stop planning and trying so hard to be who I thought I wanted to be and the fear just disappeared and I feel exceptionally good with myself…..my health has improved and I am getting better and feeling happier each and everyday!

Just trust yourself as you would be amazed with how smart and wise you really are without trying so hard….

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Self_love = Selfish ???

IMG_0045We don’t like to be called Selfish because we believe Self_love is Selfish…at least this is what I always believe!

I was brought up in the culture of giving. Save and give the best to the younger and older. I was also taught not to be selfish. Since I am the eldest in the family, so I became a natural giver. So I relate giving is loving, you should give others first which means you should love others first? This is what I  always believe self_love is selfish!

Until recently my cancer progressed and I was in so much pain and couldn’t do anything then I turned more to myself and asked if I love myself? I also came across Anita Moorjani’s book Dying to be me and Sai Baba’s teaching, they both talked about the importance of self-love!

Self-love is not selfish as what I have been lead to believe! Self-love is to love yourself unconditionally, without judgment and just being yourself and live the life you want and not the life you think other people think you should be! Since I have not been loving myself unconditionally then I never appreciate my body that is why I have cancer! That makes sense to me now! Again, I made myself sick!

Again, cancer is a gift to me and this time the cancer progressed is even a bigger gift to me! I like to share good news, I was reluctant to share my latest health situation as I was not being truthful to myself. I was afraid people judge me and ask me why? why? why? I always like to prove I can heal the cancer and I have been trying so hard to heal the cancer because I told myself and to you all I can. This time the cancer progressed and I viewed myself as a loser! I disappoint you all! The Gerson diet is so hard, I am no longer follow as I was living in so much fear everyday thinking that if I cheat the cancer will come back and now it happens as the results of living in fear!

I believe learning to love, accept, forgive, value, respect, and take responsibility for ourselves in every moment of our life is the key to healing and transforming all of our emotional, physical, spiritual pain, illness, and suffering. Relating to ourselves with unconditional love, kindness, and compassion is the key to transforming and healing our past, and so it is therefore the key to consciously creating all that our heart desires here in the present.

I believe we were not born to suffer. Nor were we born to settle for anything less than the best in all aspects of our life. In fact, we were born to grow, to learn, to create beauty, to love wholeheartedly, to  live fearlessly and enjoying our lives to the fullest each and every day.

I also believe every one of us is destined to live as a unique, free, and full expression of who and what we truly are. We are destined to realize our greatest potential in this lifetime and consciously create a life that is deeply aligned with our own heart and soul. Each of us is destined to live a life that we truly love; one that is full of purpose, passion, consciousness, peace, joy, health, wealth and unconditional love for ourselves, for others, and for all of Life. Just being ourselves and live the life we want! This is what I am experiencing now! I used to think I would be very uneasy and bored if I am not working because I would feel useless! Now, first time in life that I really enjoy not working and just being and let things happen. My finance has been taking care of and I am now loving myself more and more each and everyday. (I will share more how by just being not doing my finance has been taking care of in my next post! )

I also believe once I love myself unconditionally then I would be able to give my love unconditionally, because we cannot give what we do not have! By loving myself unconditionally and stop judging and criticizing myself. My body starts healing because Love heals………

So, do you love yourself unconditionally ?

Sending you all unconditional love……..


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Incredible Chaotic Bombay

Today is my last day in Bombay…..I don’t dislike India but I haven’t yet fell in with India. Maybe one day I would!

It is incredible to see how the people here cope with their daily life in such a populated, congested, polluted, chaotic, hard…..environment and yet they are still coping extremely well and happy….they just accept and be okay with it! Traffic is congested, nobody follow the traffic rules, cars run over the pedestrian crossing, road condition is bad. Homeless people everywhere, they sleep on the street, no one care. Young mothers with kids every where beg for money, milk powder. Dogs and cows are everywhere on the street looking for food. Why ? Because Bombay is The Dream city, people come here to find their dream!

I love my home, Malaysia because all the people I love are there. But when I am home, I miss Melbourne, I miss my comfy, quite, clean, neat second home! I have been given myself lots of excuses that I couldn’t do this and that due to the heat, the noise back home in Malaysia. Bombay shows me it is possible to do everything and anything in a chaotic environment! How….just be patient and be okay with whatever happens…..nothing work smoothly in Bombay and they are preferably ok with it! Amazing! They don’t get mad, they don’t get aggressive. They are just Okay!

I am going to do the same with my pain, just be okay and be happy…..just like Bombay! The Incredible Chaotic Bombay!

It is amazing….free and peaceful….! You might consider trying!

See you again Bombay! I might fall in love with you next time!


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母愛 Mother’s Love

I was brought up in the environment that when I grew up I had to look after my brothers and my brothers had to look after our youngest brother. I unconsciously accepted the responsibilities to take care of my family, not just me, my brothers as well. My mom didn’t have the opportunity to study, she only finished her primary education, but she insisted us to go to university so as my dad and my grandma. They believe knowledge is our best intangible asset, no one could ever steal it away from us. My mom had her way in invested in some properties with the help of her dad and kept all her money for our education.

I was lucky having the opportunity to study abroad even I had to work very hard to sponsor myself. Working part time in the restaurant and full time during holiday. It was tough but rewarding. After I graduated, I went to China to work and sponsored my brother. During that time, my relationship with my mom was ‘tense’, we had nothing to talk about except money, she rang me when my brother needed to pay his uni fees. I remembered there was once she rang and I burst in tears and told her why every time you rang me just asked me for money…..she cried and said she didn’t know what to talk to me! I viewed myself as a victim not knowing I was the one who distance her, rang away from her love! That was how I ended in Australia! I never try to feel her love and never given her a chance to show her love to me because I never take the initiative to spend time with her and I accused her of not loving me!

I distance myself with her for almost 20 years…..cancer gave me the opportunity to reunite with my mom. I spent the past 4 weeks with her, every single moment. Her love is unconditional, caring and extremely patient. The way she taking care of my nephews remind me how I was taken care by her when I was young. She cooks, teaches, feeds and even plays with them. My nephew loves dragon dance, loves playing the drum. The little one was playing the drum and instructed her to act the dragon using the towel as the dragon head, it was so sweet! I wasn’t feeling well due to my extreme Qi reaction, she was very worried and I could feel her feeling my pain. The past 4 weeks was the best time happened in my life even I was under extremely pain due to the Qi reaction.

Please don’t love your mom from a distance like me! Phone calls, emails, Skye just the ‘feel good tools’.Just ‘being’ with her and feel her.

不要愛得太远、多点回家看看! (Please don’t love from a distance, go home more often)

p/s I started writing this in the train on the way to the airport leaving for Mumbai, I was in tears and I stopped as I felt embarrassed. When I arrived in Mumbai, I told my dear friend I became very emotional while writing in public and felt embarrassed. He was very happy and told me it is very good to get emotional……let it out and don’t feel embarrassed. I am now in Mumbai Starbucks and continued with this post with tears in public…..it feels so so good!

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A Journey To……..HOME….

Flying above the South China Sea, listening to the romantic Chinese love songs while walking down the memory lane…….another 2 hours I will be home……the feeling, the excitement of being home has never been so strong ever…….I miss home! I can feel my tears……

I never miss home since 1986….the first time I left home….and went to Australia. Whenever people asked me if I miss home…..I said…..everywhere is my home as I never really have a permanent address which I could call home……I recalled when I was in China and needed to fill in my home address, My mind went blank……after that I decided to call Australia ‘home’!

After 10 years calling Aussie ‘home’……I had only been back to visit my family twice…once was my brother’s wedding and the other was I organized my 20 years high school reunion! Even before I was working in China, I went back to Malaysia was just on a ‘transit’…to other destinations….traveling to Europe, Russia, Scandinavia…..etc.never really stay long enough…to feel the love of ‘home’….

The past 2 years since 2010, I have been home at least 7 or 8 times…I have lost count….why? Because cancer bring me to my real ‘Home’….the ‘Home’ which I neglected for so many years….the love of my family and friends that I neglected for so many years…….now I am very proud and loud to tell the world ‘I miss home’!

A journey to HOME…..A journey to LOVE starts now high above the South China Sea….I have never been so excited, happy, joy…and emotion….with this trip….

Cancer brought me home….brought me closer to my family, my friends and most importantly brought me abundant of love to rediscover my true self and stopped living in denial…

I am so proud to introduce my home Alor Setar…..the place, the people, the culture, the love where I was nurtured and became who I am today!

30th Jan 2013 4.30am on the flight to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.


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What is your biggest challenge in Life so far?

We all love challenge! We challenge ourselves to be opened to risk, change and innovation….we also keep reminding ourselves that part of moving forward in life is to continue challenging ourselves and our abilities!

I love challenge….I see everything as a challenge not as a problem. I wouldn’t  say I have difficulties performing this or that, instead I would  say I have challenging tasks which excite me rather than stopping me from doing it.

I challenge myself to become a female star engineer and I did stand up among the males as people noticed me! Just imagine when you are the only Asian female electrical engineer siting in the construction site cabin attending the site meeting with a group of Caucasians engineers, builders, contractors, architects etc. They remember your name compare to other male engineers and they respect and pay attention to you! How great is that!

I challenge myself to set up and manage a joint venture company in Chongqing, China in 1998 before I turned 30 years old. I was the only foreigner in the company managing a toll bridge across the mighty Yangtze River. The Chinese were very sceptical about my abilities and asked why the Malaysian company sent a young lady over representing them. I told them in Chinese 不是猛龍不过江, translate in English is “Non-Ferocious Dragons Don’t Cross Oceans”! I was there for 3 years by myself! Lots of fighting and politicking ….eventually I became very very Chinese and made lots of great Chinese friends who I still keep in touch with.

I challenge myself backpacking alone to the Northern China during the coldest season, went to Beijing to scale the Great Wall then to Harbin visiting the Ice Festival in -25 deg C then took the local train to Changchun then took a bus to Jilin.

I challenge myself quitting my well paid job in China and migrated to Melbourne, Australia without a job and just studied my MBA, because I wanted to feel like being a student again!

I challenge myself learnt skiing when I was 40 years old from beginner to intermediate in 10 days in Squaw Valley, Lake Tahoe. The next year I went back and became advance skier! The experience was priceless….

I challenge myself climbing the highest peak Mt Kota Kinabalu in South East Asia last May.

Because I love challenges so much…then I had cancer….I thought cancer was the biggest challenge in my life…..NO…it wasn’t…..The biggest challenge in my life was ….surrender…surrender…and surrender…

I surrender myself of not to be 110% perfect.

I surrender myself of being ok if I couldn’t deliver my work related projects on time.

I surrender myself of being ok if I was rejected.

I surrender myself of letting go.

I surrender myself of just being myself.

I surrender myself to The Universe and let The Universe guide me everyday……the results are mind blowing…..just expereince the bliss of “Beingness” ( an insight from my Aunty Bee)……

So, what is my next challenge????? My next challenge is Not To Challenge myself…..

What about you?


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Dance with The Universe………..

0It’s Friday but there won’t be any Friday Words of Wisdom as I have GOOD NEWS for 2013!

I just came back from my oncologist appointment for my CT scan results. I mentioned earlier in Dec 2012 that I had back pain and my oncologist decided to send me for a scan!

I was worried that the cancer has metastases but during the whole Dec 2012, I learnt to surrender to The Universe and let The Universe taking care of me, I wrote A Letter to Me to close the 2012 chapter and also connect myself more closely to The Universe and dance along with her! I started my wall squatting and Zhi Neng Qi Gong and have been overwhelmed with the Qi reaction…I feel like I am The Universe and The Universe is me! The feeling of connection and just merge into ONE! Amazingly powerful………

The first response from my oncologist this morning was I do not have enough fat and the scan unable to pick up my lymph nodes (my cancer was originally metastases to my lymph nodes 2 years ago). Then the previously large lesion on my right has regressed!

How I did it?…………..Surrender and Dance with The Universe because The Universe is always taking care of me and you!

Lots and lots of love,

IMmy xxx