Immy Chua

Just Being and Let things Happen….


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ALL CLEAR!!!

Year 2013 was the Year of GAIN and Year 2014 is the Year of GREAT!

I took my mum to Melbourne on the 1 Jan to visit my house as I left my house last August without knowing I won’t be back for 5 months! I was and still so glad I have very kind neighbour Frank and Stella help look after my house and also my friend Mark help to mow my lawn, also Gabrielle and Gabriele help cleaned and packed my stuffs. So even I was away for 5 months, my house still clean and good! Thankyou all so much!

This trip back to Melbourne was to organise and pack my stuff ready to ship to Malaysia, but mum and I were not keen to ‘work’, so we decided to change our plan just enjoy our stay. So I took mum shopping, dining and cherries picking, she loves it! Catching up with some friends but not all as I didn’t have lots of time there and will catch up with you all again next trip!

I went to see my Melbourne oncologist to update my health status and they are very happy to coordinate with my Malaysian oncologist. My other intention was to get a CT scan in Melbourne but they were unable to get me in until 28 Jan. Again, I do not understand my oncologist still remind me that my cancer is incurable!

We got back to Malaysia on the 14 Jan and went to Penang on the 15 Jan and had my CT scan…..ALL CLEAR!!! NO TRACE of cancer , not in my bladder, lung, liver, gallbladder, pancreas, ovaries, colon, no bone lesion……no enlarged lymph nodes …..Mum and dad very happy ! So as my oncologist! Now just monitoring, another scan in March!

My legs and abdomen still swelling and my oncologist said this is due to the lymphatic blockage due to the previous enlarged lymph nodes and now the lymph could not find its original route back. So I have to wear compression stockings and girdle to force the lymph to flow to its original route! not a big deal as this helps me to have more empathy towards disable people as I have difficulties in walking and squatting! ūüėČ have to get back to my wall squatting soon.

So….2014 is the YEAR of GREAT and will be greater and greater each and every year! I hope you all will find the same!

Lots of love,
Immy

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Do you know where you are going……?

I was once told by my boss that ‘If you fail to plan, you plan to fail! ‘ So, I was always planning for my life…..because of the fear of failure!

Now, I stop planning and trying so hard to be who I thought I wanted to be and the fear just disappeared and I feel exceptionally good with myself…..my health has improved and I am getting better and feeling happier each and everyday!

Just trust yourself as you would be amazed with how smart and wise you really are without trying so hard….

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Self_love = Selfish ???

IMG_0045We don’t like to be called Selfish because we believe Self_love is Selfish…at least this is what I always believe!

I was brought up in the culture of giving. Save and give the best to the younger and older. I was also taught not to be selfish. Since I am the eldest in the family, so I became a natural giver. So I relate giving is loving, you should give others first which means you should love others first? This is what I  always believe self_love is selfish!

Until recently my cancer progressed and I was in so much pain and couldn’t do anything then I turned more to myself and asked if I love myself? I also came across Anita Moorjani’s book Dying to be me and Sai Baba’s teaching, they both talked about the importance of self-love!

Self-love is not selfish as what I have been lead to believe! Self-love is to love yourself unconditionally, without judgment and just being yourself and live the life you want and not the life you think other people think you should be! Since I have not been loving myself unconditionally then I never appreciate my body that is why I have cancer! That makes sense to me now! Again, I made myself sick!

Again, cancer is a gift to me and this time the cancer progressed is even a bigger gift to me! I like to share good news, I was reluctant to share my latest health situation as I was not being truthful to myself. I was afraid people judge me and ask me why? why? why? I always like to prove I can heal the cancer and I have been trying so hard to heal the cancer because I told myself and to you all I can. This time the cancer progressed and I viewed myself as a loser! I disappoint you all! The Gerson diet is so hard, I am no longer follow as I was living in so much fear everyday thinking that if I cheat the cancer will come back and now it happens as the results of living in fear!

I believe learning to love, accept, forgive, value, respect, and take responsibility for ourselves in every moment of our life is the key to healing and transforming all of our emotional, physical, spiritual pain, illness, and suffering. Relating to ourselves with unconditional love, kindness, and compassion is the key to transforming and healing our past, and so it is therefore the key to consciously creating all that our heart desires here in the present.

I believe we were not born to suffer. Nor were we born to settle for anything less than the best in all aspects of our life. In fact, we were born to grow, to learn, to create beauty, to love wholeheartedly, to  live fearlessly and enjoying our lives to the fullest each and every day.

I also believe every one of us is destined to live as a unique, free, and full expression of who and what we truly are. We are destined to realize our greatest potential in this lifetime and consciously create a life that is deeply aligned with our own heart and soul. Each of us is destined to live a life that we truly love; one that is full of purpose, passion, consciousness, peace, joy, health, wealth and unconditional love for ourselves, for others, and for all of Life. Just being ourselves and live the life we want! This is what I am experiencing now! I used to think I would be very uneasy and bored if I am not working because I would feel useless! Now, first time in life that I really enjoy not working and just being and let things happen. My finance has been taking care of and I am now loving myself more and more each and everyday. (I will share more how by just being not doing my finance has been taking care of in my next post! )

I also believe once I love myself unconditionally then I would be able to give my love unconditionally, because we cannot give what we do not have! By loving myself unconditionally and stop judging and criticizing myself. My body starts healing because Love heals………

So, do you love yourself unconditionally ?

Sending you all unconditional love……..


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Human ‘Do’ing

It has been a while I disappear from here and I guess many of you are wondering if I am ok, well or still around!

I am well and happy!

I went for my holiday back home in Malaysia end of Jan and since I came back in March I have been living with pain. I was so in pain that I couldn’t think and do anything. My parents and family wanted me to go back to Malaysia so they could take care of me, but I chose to stay in Melbourne because I was worried about them worried about me when they saw me in pain! Same as here in Melbourne, friends have been trying to contact me and ask about my condition. I rejected their call and was avoiding them because again I was worried about them worried about me then stressed me out! Until my friend told me I shouldn’t think about them worried about me, I should view it as they care and love me! Then I feel so much better!

I was in pain for about 4 to 6 weeks before I decided to take pain killer and it really helps a lot and now I feel so much better!

About my health! I went for another scan in April, I was so impressed with myself that I have no fear with the results as I told my friend! He said well He worried more than i worried about myself! This is great! Once I told you all my worries then all the worries gone and let you guys worry about me! My results….good news that all my organs are clear! Not so good news my lymph nodes have progressed that’s why I have pain! Not the end of the world !

I have been reading a lot recently. Get to know more about Sai Baba. Also just finished reading Anita Moorjani’s book Dying to be me! Learnt so much from Anita to live fearlessly and just being me. Learnt so much from my Aunty Bee how to just being a Human Being rather than Human Doing! Guess some of you don’t understand what I am saying here!

Let me explain here. For the past 2 1/2 years, I have been living in fear! Even my bladder tumor gone after 3 months of Gerson Therapy, but my lymph nodes still there and I am unable to completely heal because I am living in FEAR, fear of not taking my juices, fear of not doing my enema, fear of not taking my vitamins, my injection, fear of eating meat and all those forbidden foods, fear of not having income to support myself…..that’s why my cancer progressed! I am grateful that the cancer progressed because it again brings me closer to ME…the real ME! I have been living my life that I thought I should be not what the real ME! All my life, I have been very competitive, very ambitious, proactive, persistent…..make things happen! I did the same with treating my cancer…doing this doing that! Since I was in so much pain and unable to work and stay home just relax and listen to me….and just let go and let things happen rather than making things happen….everything just fall into places….like my Aunty Bee told me just Being…..in the moment. Now my finance situation has been taking care of, don’t need to work as I received my income protection claim and government assistance! All these just by Being as friends help me with all the enquires and advice !

Now, I am living fearlessly, I am no longer fear of not having my juices, enema, vitamins. I eat meat when I feel like and eat healthy when I love to not I am fear of cancer! I still experience pain but manageable with pain killer not my preference! I decided to live in ambiguity, every day I am welcoming a new door to my life, I am excited with my new found life journey, full of unknowns
and more unknowns….just let go and live fearlessly and embrace pain! One day, when I open the new red door…you will find a happy, beautiful and cancer free ME because this is the REAL ME! Press LIKE if you like what you read!

We are Human BEING not Human ‘Do’ing! Stop doing and just BEING!

I will continue to write this blog as I have so much so share!

Sending you all unconditional love…..IMmy xoxo

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śĮ朥õ Mother’s Love

I was brought up in the environment that when I grew up I had to look after my brothers and my brothers had to look after our youngest brother. I unconsciously accepted the responsibilities to take care of my family, not just me, my brothers as well. My mom didn’t have the opportunity to study, she only finished her primary education, but she insisted us to go to university so as my dad and my grandma. They believe knowledge is our best intangible asset, no one could ever steal it away from us. My mom had her way in invested in some properties with the help of her dad and kept all her money for our education.

I was lucky having the opportunity to study abroad even I had to work very hard to sponsor myself. Working part time in the restaurant and full time during holiday. It was tough but rewarding. After I graduated, I went to China to work and sponsored my brother. During that time, my relationship with my mom was ‘tense’, we had nothing to talk about except money, she rang me when my brother needed to pay his uni fees. I remembered there was once she rang and I burst in tears and told her why every time you rang me just asked me for money…..she cried and said she didn’t know what to talk to me! I viewed myself as a victim not knowing I was the one who distance her, rang away from her love! That was how I ended in Australia! I never try to feel her love and never given her a chance to show her love to me because I never take the initiative to spend time with her and I accused her of not loving me!

I distance myself with her for almost 20 years…..cancer gave me the opportunity to reunite with my mom. I spent the past 4 weeks with her, every single moment. Her love is unconditional, caring and extremely patient. The way she taking care of my nephews remind me how I was taken care by her when I was young. She cooks, teaches, feeds and even plays with them. My nephew loves dragon dance, loves playing the drum. The little one was playing the drum and instructed her to act the dragon using the towel as the dragon head, it was so sweet! I wasn’t feeling well due to my extreme Qi reaction, she was very worried and I could feel her feeling my pain. The past 4 weeks was the best time happened in my life even I was under extremely pain due to the Qi reaction.

Please don’t love your mom from a distance like me! Phone calls, emails, Skye just the ‘feel good tools’.Just ‘being’ with her and feel her.

šłćŤ¶ĀśĄõŚĺ󌧙ŤŅú„ÄĀŚ§öÁāĻŚõěŚģ∂ÁúčÁúč! (Please don’t love from a distance, go home more often)

p/s I started writing this in the train on the way to the airport leaving for Mumbai, I was in tears and I stopped as I felt embarrassed. When I arrived in Mumbai, I told my dear friend I became very emotional while writing in public and felt embarrassed. He was very happy and told me it is very good to get emotional……let it out and don’t feel embarrassed. I am now in Mumbai Starbucks and continued with this post with tears in public…..it feels so so good!

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What is your biggest challenge in Life so far?

We all love challenge! We challenge ourselves to be opened to risk, change and innovation….we also keep¬†reminding¬†ourselves¬†that part of moving forward in¬†life¬†is to continue¬†challenging ourselves¬†and our abilities!

I love challenge….I see everything as a challenge not as a problem. I wouldn’t ¬†say I have¬†difficulties performing this or that,¬†instead¬†I would¬†¬†say I have challenging tasks which excite me rather than stopping me from doing it.

I challenge myself to become a female star engineer and I did stand up among the males as people noticed me! Just imagine when you are the only Asian female electrical engineer siting in the construction site cabin attending the site meeting with a group of Caucasians engineers, builders, contractors, architects etc. They remember your name compare to other male engineers and they respect and pay attention to you! How great is that!

I challenge¬†myself to set up and manage a joint venture company in Chongqing, China in 1998 before I turned 30 years old. I was the only foreigner in the company managing a toll bridge across the mighty¬†Yangtze River. The Chinese were very sceptical about my abilities¬†and asked why the Malaysian company sent a young lady over representing them. I told them in Chinese šłćśėĮÁĆõťĺćšłćŤŅáśĪü,¬†translate in English is “Non-Ferocious Dragons Don’t Cross Oceans”! I was there for 3 years by myself! Lots of fighting and politicking ….eventually I became very very Chinese and made lots of great Chinese friends who I still keep in touch with.

I challenge myself backpacking alone to the Northern China during the coldest season, went to Beijing to scale the Great Wall then to Harbin visiting the Ice Festival in -25 deg C then took the local train to Changchun then took a bus to Jilin.

I challenge myself quitting my well paid job in China and migrated to Melbourne, Australia without a job and just studied my MBA, because I wanted to feel like being a student again!

I challenge myself learnt skiing when I was 40 years old from beginner to intermediate in 10 days in Squaw Valley, Lake Tahoe. The next year I went back and became advance skier! The experience was priceless….

I challenge myself climbing the highest peak Mt Kota Kinabalu in South East Asia last May.

Because I love challenges so much…then I had cancer….I thought cancer was the biggest challenge in my life…..NO…it wasn’t…..The biggest challenge in my life was ….surrender…surrender…and surrender…

I surrender myself of not to be 110% perfect.

I surrender myself of being ok if I couldn’t deliver my work related projects on time.

I surrender myself of being ok if I was rejected.

I surrender myself of letting go.

I surrender myself of just being myself.

I surrender myself to The Universe and let The Universe guide me everyday……the results are mind blowing…..just expereince the bliss of “Beingness” ( an insight from my Aunty Bee)……

So, what is my next challenge????? My next challenge is Not To Challenge myself…..

What about you?


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Make Peace with Cancer

I have had a remarkable journey with cancer! Many of my family and friends are very happy and proud about my journey and they talked about me to their friends. I received a lot of emails asking about my journey and congratulated me for winning the battle, being a cancer survivor.

Before I had cancer, I have been fighting for my studies then my career especially in the male dominated engineering industry and also fighting for attention! Winning was very important to me !

Interestingly, I was impressed with myself I became so wise when I was diagnosed with cancer, I never think about fighting! I was telling myself fighting is very negative ! When you fight the cancer, the cancer will fight back and will become stronger than you ! It is a negative force! I also never consider myself as a cancer survivor! Survivor is also very negative ! Is not good for me to just survive! I want to live to 120 years old! Rather than fighting and called myself a cancer patient! I make peace with cancer! Everyday I would tell my cancer cells to be friends with me and I would help transforming them to good, healthy and happy cells! I told them I would not cut them off, burn them or poison them! I used my loves to transform them to good cells as it was not their intention to be cancer cells……..

If I can make peace with cancer calls I believe you can make peace with other illness and disease that currently affecting you. Don’t fight , make peace and the world will be a better place to live!

Lots and lots of love,
Immy xxx


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Vitamin Qi

qiQi or Energy…it has no form, no color, no smell…you can’t see, you can’t smell, you can’t touch…..you can only feel….feel with your heart….it can make you feel extremely calm, relax and light but it can also make you feel extremely uncomfortable, emotional, restless……but don’t get it wrong, this is where the healing begins….

I believe in Qi but I never really get to experience the existence of Qi, because I had so much excuses not to learn, I was always busy with work, with shopping making myself pretty, with all those unimportant things in life, I had all the wrong priorities in life! Last April, my friend introduced me to Zhi Neng Qi Gong and I found Sheng Zhong and learnt from him. I wasn’t really practicing much as again set all the wrong priorities in life! Last November due to work stress, I started getting back pain and my swollen lymph nodes were getting bigger and harder….not a good sign!

I decided to try Qi Therapy, I contacted Sheng Zhong and had been seeing him every week since mid November 2012. He channeled the external qi via his body to my body, he also guided me to practice more Zhi Neng Qi Gong, how to visualise and merge with Qi, also practicing wall squatting. After 2 weeks of wall squatting (20 squat x 5 times a day) and daily Qi Gong practice, I started feeling the Qi

Before meal

Before meal

flowing within my body. Last Christmas when everyone was busy eating and drinking, I managed to reach 500 wall squat (200 in the morning + 300 in the afternoon) a day…..I was overwhelmed with the Qi reaction….I feel the Qi when I am sitting, driving, sleeping and standing….it was so powerful and amazing….and this Qi reaction actually made me feel extremely uncomfortable because the Qi went deep rooted into my skin, body, meridian and bone to heal the source of my illness…..it is like peeling layer upon layer of my illness, you feel better one day and the more I do the wall squat and qi gong then the qi reaction come back again and heal the next level. Only one and a half month….and the result is phenomenal from my CT scan results.

I take lots and lots of vitamins for my dietary healing to strengthen my immune and digesting system, before meal I take 4 pancreatin enzyme, 2 acidol pepsin and 4 probiotic to help my digesting system. After meal, I take 4 CQ10, 2 niacin (B3), 3 liver capsules, 8 spirulina, 10 chlorella and 2 megazyme forte. 3 times a day! I inject myself with B12 everyday for the past 2 years! You can do the math of how much vitamins I had taken for the past 2 years! In addition, the juicing and the enema and the rabbit foods…..lots and lots of time and love spending in healing my illness!

Dietary healing helped dissolving the tumor cells and restored my body’s defense system, this method is all about me taking control of my health and life. Lots of time, energy, money and efforts. I chose this method not because I have no faith in modern medicine; chemo, radiotherapy still cure cancer but I would rather take responsibility and control of my life than handed my life to someone else!

After meal

After meal

Qi healing not only heal my illness but my life…..during the qi reaction…..I experienced lots of emotional reaction….it is such a remarkable journey..

Vitamin Qi is free and we all have it within our body….just do not know how to activate it and let it flows…..if you are interested…start with wall squatting. Warning…..only Chinese and Asian able to squat without any effort, because of our gene and ‘squatting toilet’! My late grandma who was 80 years old still used squat toilet!

My B12 injection!

My B12 injection! Fun of injecting yourself!

Happy Squatting!

Lots of love,

IMmy xxx


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Dance with The Universe………..

0It’s Friday but there won’t be any Friday Words of Wisdom as I have GOOD NEWS for 2013!

I just came back from my oncologist appointment for my CT scan results. I mentioned earlier in Dec 2012 that I had back pain and my oncologist decided to send me for a scan!

I was worried that the cancer has metastases but during the whole Dec 2012, I learnt to surrender to The Universe and let The Universe taking care of me, I wrote A Letter to Me to close the 2012 chapter and also connect myself more closely to The Universe and dance along with her! I started my wall squatting and Zhi Neng Qi Gong and have been¬†overwhelmed¬†with the Qi reaction…I feel like I am The¬†Universe¬†and The Universe is me! The feeling of connection and just merge into ONE! Amazingly powerful………

The first response from my oncologist this morning was I do not have enough fat and the scan unable to pick up my lymph nodes (my cancer was originally metastases to my lymph nodes 2 years ago). Then the previously large lesion on my right has regressed!

How I did it?…………..Surrender and Dance with The Universe because The Universe is always taking care of me and you!

Lots and lots of love,

IMmy xxx


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A Letter to Me

letter to meDear Me,

Today is the last day of 2012 and I decided to write you my first and last letter to close this chapter of you in 2012 and welcoming the next new and exciting chapter of me in 2013. I have been spending lots of time with you this year and I believe you feel the same as well. I actually enjoyed spending time with you, it took me 44 years to realise the importance of spending time with you just like what I am doing now. This year, the most precious thing you taught me is to “Let Go” in all expects of my life.

My Career: I have always been very ambitious since I was young…in almost everything. I was not only ‘survive’ as a female engineer in male¬†dominated¬†industry but I thrived as an Asian Woman Engineer in the Western World. I wasn’t satisfied as being an engineer, I went further to get my MBA and continued climbing the corporate ladder. I was at the peak of my career and suddenly I was hit by the C-bomb in September 2010. The C-bomb didn’t stop me from my career dream. After 3 months of intensive Gerson Therapy, I went straight back to work again and forgot how the cancer hit me. I was busy again running here and there making myself important and ‘significant’ again. Until October 2011, I was made redundant. Another C-bomb, this time it was the career bomb ūüėČ My confidence shattered, completely smashed and crashed! Then I started noticing you! You guided me to look inside myself and discovered the FEAR. The FEAR of being not good enough! The FEAR of being rejected! The FEAR of being not having a job! It was such a powerful insight, once I confronted the FEAR and just be completely Ok and let them go. I set myself free. I can’t change what happened but I can change the way I view it.¬†Now, I have 100% faith that as long as I am fulfilling my purpose, being of service and providing as much value to the world as possible, my career and finances will always be looked after. The Universe is always taking care of me and you!

My Health: Since I started Gerson, I have been very focusing on my diet, my coffee enema, my castor oil enema, my vitamins, my B12 injection, my lifestyle, almost everything that might¬†possibly ‘wake up’ the cancer cells.¬†I was living in fear. I was unable to eat out. I have to carry my juices, my enema bucket and vitamins with me wherever I traveled. I wasn’t complaining because I chose to do Gerson. ¬†It was because the more I read and researched about cancer and what caused cancer, I became living in more and more fear to prevent cancer. Just because I know too much and I also want my love ones to live healthy and I kind of expecting my love ones to change their diet and lifestyle. Then I got upset when they ‘don’t care’. Started this year, since I spent more time with you than my career, you guided me to realise if I can’t control other people, there is nothing much I can do except just be with them when they need me. Recently, you also made me¬†realised that focusing solely on ‚Äúhealing my cancer‚ÄĚ was counter productive to my goal. I started relaxing my diet and focusing more on my soul, YOU! I stopped stressing myself and started¬†nurturing my inner baby, YOU. Get you connected more closely to The Universe and dance along with The Universe and just be perfectly ok with whatever that¬†happens¬†because……¬†The Universe is always taking care of me and you!

My Relationship: It took you ¬†about 10 years to forgive my ex husband, Kelvin. I remember the last thing I told him was what he did to me will happen to his family, didn’t realise that it was a curse to him. It happened to his mother, how he treated me was how his father treated his mother. ¬†I want to apologise to you Kelvin, I am sorry to what I did to you. I forgive you because I knew it is not your intention to hurt me same as it wasn’t my intention to curse your family. Mark, we had a great relationship, we were so compatible in everything but we both knew that all these were never been enough to be together. You let me see the side of me that I was avoiding to face,¬†jealously¬†and insecurity. We both went into the relationship with our emotional baggage. I know that you were very sad when you heard I was sick and you blamed yourself of contributing to my illness. I am sorry of making you feel bad. Please forgive yourself of what you did to me same as I am forgiving myself of making you feel bad. Lindsay, thanks for taking care of me when I first started my Gerson. We had a great relationship as we never fight, I just could’t believe that! I am sorry thing didn’t work out between us since my cancer, I know you care, adore and admire me so much. I am sorry and I know you were angry with me. Cancer was supposed to bring us closer but it made me realise what I really want in a relationship. You are a very nice and caring person, if I was just looking for a man to settle as most women do when they were sick, I will just be with you. I want someone who I can feel….just feel…. deeply into his soul and melt and sink into his soul and be part of his soul…..I am looking for a soul mate who is within me not outside me. I might not find him but I will be ok because The Universe is¬†always taking care of me and you!1_142559 Thanks so much for guiding me through this year and set my career, health and relationship free to welcome the new and exciting 2013. I cannot control what happens to me. I can only control how I react to what happens to me, but I need to remain open to rolling with the punches rather than clinging to whatever outcome I have idolised in my minds. ¬†Always remain open because The Universe is always taking care of Me and You!

Lots and lots and tons and ton of love,

IMmy xxx