Immy Chua

Just Being and Let things Happen….


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With or Without Cancer?

IMG_4503I had my follow up CT scan on the 17 March, I don’t like CT scan especially the injection of IV contrast (dye) through my tiny vein, it hurts!  IV stands for intravenous which means the contrast is given through a vein. Generally a vein in your hand, lower arm, or near the elbow joint is used. The contrast is used to “highlight” internal organs such as the liver, kidneys, and pancreas. It helps detect and characterize tumors, infection and disease of the vessels. Before the follow up scan, I told mom that I have few nodes under both of my arms, I was amazed with her reaction! She said I worried too much, just small nodes and very soft! Last year I worried about her worried about me and kept my pain with me because I always know that she is not a strong person. I was completely underestimate her beautiful strength!

My CT scan result was excellent, yes no doubt there are few nodes under my arm but the size are not alarming. Dr. Amir was very happy with the results and asked me to go back again next month for another follow up checkup.

Before the scan, I was quite worried about the new found nodes. These nodes made me learn something very valuable! More than 3 years now, I have been trying to become a cancer free person. I tried lots of methods, dietary healing, energy healing, meditation and finally due to the unbearable pain chemo and radiotherapy! My life was researching about cancer. I remember a good friend once asked me how would I feel if one day, the doctor told me I am cancer free? I did not know how to answer him, I just told him that I knew it would happen! 2 months ago when my doctor told me my scan shown no signs of cancer, I wasn’t jumping up and down feeling happy, I was just glad to know I am cancer free! Now, the new nodes came back, do I really bother? Why I have to be cancer free? Why I have to use so much of my energy trying to become a cancer free person?

Thanks to theses few found nodes, now I will focus of using my energy to live and thrive my life with or without cancer!


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3 March 1994

3 March 1994, night my brother and I were at Aunty Lian Kor’s house in Taman Seputeh waiting for the phone call. My brother Chong Guan was in coma in Jackson Hospital, Missisiippi. I was waiting in Mei Qi and Wei Zhi’s room, I looked out the window praying for The God of Mercy for my brother. Then the phone rang, Lian Kor picked up the phone and was in tears, she then came upstairs and told us Ah Yan (Guan) has gone. I was speechless, I hate myself for not being with him. I left him! My brother was diagnosed with leukaemia on the 9 September 1993, my birthday. No one could imagine after 6 months he left….

Chua Chong Guan

Chua Chong Guan

Could you imagine how hard for parent to carry their son’s ashes home all the way from America to Malaysia? The journey….I don’t know how my parent did it. I knew that doctor tried to rescue my brother once, but the second time, mom told the doctor to stop as she couldn’t see him suffered any longer. I could imagine the scene as I saw him the time when he was in intensive care, he was also in coma, piping in his mouth….broken lips…..heart broken….

When they reached KL, my brother Chong Leong drove all of us home to Alor Setar together with my brother ashes. My youngest brother Chong Hong hold the top of the urn and mom said Ah Yan does not like his head to be touched, so she asked Ah Hong to be careful. It was a long long journey.

We reached Alor Setar at night, due to the culture believe, the urn was not allowed to be placed at home. So we brought the ashes to our Sin Quah Chuah Chong Soo, it is our ancestor association hall. When we reached home, mom cried and told grandma that she failed to bring my brother home. A mother lost her son and a grandmother lost her dear grandson….

The next day, with my uncle Quanyong’s help, his ashes was finally rested in the Siam Temple. Every time I come back I will visit him, my beloved brother…..and today is the 3 March 2014, 20 years since he has gone….I still and will miss him but I believe he is with us all the time whether I am here or in Melbourne…..because we are all connected…we are ONE!

For those who has brother/brothers cherish them and love them!