Earlier this year, I wrote a letter to Pain as I had been having abdomen pain due to the enlarged lymph nodes/tumour. The pain followed me to India, Malaysia and back to Melbourne. I was in pain when I was in Melbourne but I didn’t tell my parents/family as I worried about them worried about me. I thought the pain would go away one day but it didn’t as I refused to take pain killer. I waited until 2 months later and couldn’t bear the pain and took panadine. It felt so good, the magic of drug! However, when the drug gone, the pain came back. I couldn’t go to work and everyday stay home dealing with pain because I believe one day the pain would go away.
I started worrying about my finance, and my friend Mark helped me to enquire about my insurance and in June this year, my income protection insurance been approved and in July my Death Claim also been approved! Sad but it eased my financial pain!
I had been practising QiGong and my good friend Lake Khee introduced me to Mr. Ooi in Penang and he was guiding me via Skype. He guided me to let go and just be ok with pain as I kept thinking about pain and won’t let go the pain. Very interesting! He then suggested that I go to Beijing to experience the true healing!
My healing journey started on the 9 August from Melbourne. I was excited and full of hope and joys! My ex boyfriend and his now girlfriend drove me to the airport, I think I had finally get over all my grieveness, resentment and anger! Let go of everything….yes everything and welcoming the next big chapter of my magnificent life!
I had an excellent start of my journey, I was upgraded to premium economy class from Melbourne to Hong Kong by just Being! At the airport, I upgraded my Facebook status that I would disappear for 2 months as I wouldn’t be able to access to FB in China. When I arrived at HK airport, I was overwhelmed with all the loves and best wishes from my friends and relatives! I was absolutely blessed and thrilled of being loved so much by everyone.
From freezing Melbourne to hot and humid Beijing was quite a challenge. Beijing airport was ‘people mountain people oceans’ 人山人海 means packed like sardin! My lovely cousin Chong Peng and his wife Yean Khim came to pick me, it was extremely nice of them. The journey to the rehabilitation centre was quite far and the driver couldn’t even locate from the map! I was going to a remote village. The rehabilitation centre full of people from all over China, they are all recovered or recovering from cancer, heart problem, kidney problem etc. When I arrived and they asked about my condition, everyone of them said to me, “Don’t worry, you will be healed!” The class starts at 7.45am, with singing session, then follow with some lectures and then QiGong. Lunch at 11.30am, rest then start again at 2.30pm to 5pm. Dinner at 5.30pm then start again at 7.00pm to 8.30pm. I was planning to be there for 2 months but after 3 weeks due to the hot whether, poor living condition and food. My condition deteriorated and my pain was so unbearable that I had to go to the hospital to get injection. The place to the nearest hospital is 1 hour drive. My parents visited me on the 3rd week as I invited them as I was planning to go to Seoul with them to get re-entry visa to China. During the time, due to the political sensitive with QiGong, the centre is forced to close. The third day my parents arrived, we have to leave as we are foreigners and it is even more sensitive and critical. We didn’t want to be locked up in China. So, my parents took me home. I was in so much pain that, I was on a VIP Red Carpet wheelchair all the way from Beijing Airport to Alor Setar Airport! First to board the plane and special lane to go through custom with escort! Now I have more empathy towards people on wheelchair.
The pain continued when I arrived in Alor Setar, went to the hospital few times to get morphine injection. At last my dad couldn’t see me suffered, he took my scan results to Penang and get advice. When you were in pain, you just do whatever could help relieve the pain. We went to Penang, a very young, handsome, smart and confidence oncologist Dr. Amir Shah managed to convince me to undergo radiotherapy and chemotherapy. I am very impressed with his experience as a young doctor and also impressed with Malaysia medical experience and expertise. Friends were curious and asked why in Malaysia not Melbourne, as I don’t have to pay in Melbourne. The last time I saw my Melbourne oncologist, still same answer, my cancer is incurable and they could not confirm if I could response to chemo. However, Dr. Amir didn’t even mention my cancer is incurable, he suggested radiotherapy to shrink the tumour in my abdomen to relieve my pain then follow with chemo. He would give me 2 chemo drugs, one to slow the cancer from metastasis and the other would kill the cancer cells. Then he would monitor my WBC white blood count, if it drops, then he would give me immune booster. In addition, these are new drugs target cancer cells rather than kill all the good and bad cells. When I asked about the chances of me responding to the drugs, he said 65% of his patients responded to chemo drugs. Another good news was the drug would not cause hair loss, another bonus! My last chemo was on the 26 Dec and I only had 1 drug rather than 2 because I responded to the drug really well, no nausea, no vomit, no constipation but good appetite. I was on wheelchair when having my radio and chemo due to the pain, after finished radio and half way through to the chemo, I was able to walk. We are all very happy with my progress. I am leaving for Melbourne tomorrow with mom to sort out my ‘unfinished life’ since I left in August to Beijing. Then come back again to Alor Setar to stay with my parents until I fully recovered. I am not saying Australia doctors are not good, maybe they haven’t seen as many cancer patients compare to Malaysia doctors due to the population in Malaysia compare to Australia. In addition, there are many Indonesians seek medical treatment in Malaysia which made Malaysia doctors seen more cases. Well, this is just my personal opinion.
This year 2013 is full of pain and it passed so quickly! When I look back now, I forgot all the pain but seeing lots of gain! I am happier because I am with my family, my brothers, nephews and had so much fun just being with them. My brother Chong Leong, the word best brother, when I was in pain and had swollen legs, he helped massaging my legs and kept on checking on me at night and helped mom to rotate shift taking care of me! Dad drove me to Penang everyday for my radiotherapy and weekly for my chemotherapy. Mom cooks and juice for me. Her friends also gave me so much herbs, food for me. Everyone who knows mom, dad and know I am sick, just try to help and made food for me. I am so touched and blessed!
2013 is the year of GAIN !
I wish you all have a wonderful new year and if you think 2013 is not a good year for you, try look at it again and I am very sure you will see it differently!
Lots and lots of love,