Immy Chua

Just Being and Let things Happen….


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A Letter to Me

letter to meDear Me,

Today is the last day of 2012 and I decided to write you my first and last letter to close this chapter of you in 2012 and welcoming the next new and exciting chapter of me in 2013. I have been spending lots of time with you this year and I believe you feel the same as well. I actually enjoyed spending time with you, it took me 44 years to realise the importance of spending time with you just like what I am doing now. This year, the most precious thing you taught me is to “Let Go” in all expects of my life.

My Career: I have always been very ambitious since I was young…in almost everything. I was not only ‘survive’ as a female engineer in male dominated industry but I thrived as an Asian Woman Engineer in the Western World. I wasn’t satisfied as being an engineer, I went further to get my MBA and continued climbing the corporate ladder. I was at the peak of my career and suddenly I was hit by the C-bomb in September 2010. The C-bomb didn’t stop me from my career dream. After 3 months of intensive Gerson Therapy, I went straight back to work again and forgot how the cancer hit me. I was busy again running here and there making myself important and ‘significant’ again. Until October 2011, I was made redundant. Another C-bomb, this time it was the career bomb 😉 My confidence shattered, completely smashed and crashed! Then I started noticing you! You guided me to look inside myself and discovered the FEAR. The FEAR of being not good enough! The FEAR of being rejected! The FEAR of being not having a job! It was such a powerful insight, once I confronted the FEAR and just be completely Ok and let them go. I set myself free. I can’t change what happened but I can change the way I view it. Now, I have 100% faith that as long as I am fulfilling my purpose, being of service and providing as much value to the world as possible, my career and finances will always be looked after. The Universe is always taking care of me and you!

My Health: Since I started Gerson, I have been very focusing on my diet, my coffee enema, my castor oil enema, my vitamins, my B12 injection, my lifestyle, almost everything that might possibly ‘wake up’ the cancer cells. I was living in fear. I was unable to eat out. I have to carry my juices, my enema bucket and vitamins with me wherever I traveled. I wasn’t complaining because I chose to do Gerson.  It was because the more I read and researched about cancer and what caused cancer, I became living in more and more fear to prevent cancer. Just because I know too much and I also want my love ones to live healthy and I kind of expecting my love ones to change their diet and lifestyle. Then I got upset when they ‘don’t care’. Started this year, since I spent more time with you than my career, you guided me to realise if I can’t control other people, there is nothing much I can do except just be with them when they need me. Recently, you also made me realised that focusing solely on “healing my cancer” was counter productive to my goal. I started relaxing my diet and focusing more on my soul, YOU! I stopped stressing myself and started nurturing my inner baby, YOU. Get you connected more closely to The Universe and dance along with The Universe and just be perfectly ok with whatever that happens because…… The Universe is always taking care of me and you!

My Relationship: It took you  about 10 years to forgive my ex husband, Kelvin. I remember the last thing I told him was what he did to me will happen to his family, didn’t realise that it was a curse to him. It happened to his mother, how he treated me was how his father treated his mother.  I want to apologise to you Kelvin, I am sorry to what I did to you. I forgive you because I knew it is not your intention to hurt me same as it wasn’t my intention to curse your family. Mark, we had a great relationship, we were so compatible in everything but we both knew that all these were never been enough to be together. You let me see the side of me that I was avoiding to face, jealously and insecurity. We both went into the relationship with our emotional baggage. I know that you were very sad when you heard I was sick and you blamed yourself of contributing to my illness. I am sorry of making you feel bad. Please forgive yourself of what you did to me same as I am forgiving myself of making you feel bad. Lindsay, thanks for taking care of me when I first started my Gerson. We had a great relationship as we never fight, I just could’t believe that! I am sorry thing didn’t work out between us since my cancer, I know you care, adore and admire me so much. I am sorry and I know you were angry with me. Cancer was supposed to bring us closer but it made me realise what I really want in a relationship. You are a very nice and caring person, if I was just looking for a man to settle as most women do when they were sick, I will just be with you. I want someone who I can feel….just feel…. deeply into his soul and melt and sink into his soul and be part of his soul…..I am looking for a soul mate who is within me not outside me. I might not find him but I will be ok because The Universe is always taking care of me and you!1_142559 Thanks so much for guiding me through this year and set my career, health and relationship free to welcome the new and exciting 2013. I cannot control what happens to me. I can only control how I react to what happens to me, but I need to remain open to rolling with the punches rather than clinging to whatever outcome I have idolised in my minds.  Always remain open because The Universe is always taking care of Me and You!

Lots and lots and tons and ton of love,

IMmy xxx

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Friday Words of Wisdom – Think Big!

These pictures were taken by a French photographer Alain Delorme in Shanghai throughout 2009 & 2010.
He called the series Totems.
These couriers – mostly migrant workers from other parts of China – not only need strong legs but also acrobatic skills to balance these massive loads on their tricycles & bicycles while on the move.
A lot of you must be wondering where the center of gravity is in each case…. Think Big…anything is possible!

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How do you know when you are healed? Part 1

YarnAfter spending so much quality time with Cancer, I realised cancer not just known medically as a malignant neoplasm involving unregulated cell growth. Cancer is the product of years of accumulative unresolved emotional baggage deep rooted inside my heart…..it is just like a messy ball of yarn. I have many friends and friends’ of friends contacted me asked how I healed my cancer, when I told them to look deep inside their heart to search for their unresolved emotional baggage, I never heard from them. It is not easy to face the fear and unveiled your emotional baggage….because it is painful and painful and painful….lots of tears and tears and tears….this is what I mentioned in my earlier post about WHY NOT?

I was and still very fortunate to have a guardian angel guarding me to uncover layers upon layers of my emotional baggage, just imagine like peeling layers of onion…it hurts! This is when healing journey began….

My late brother diagnosed of leukemia when he was 21, on the 9 September 1993 (it was my birthday), he was in Ole Miss, in his final year of college. My dad went to Ole Miss for his first chemo treatment, first treatment was ok. During second treatment, he was admitted to intensive care. I went back to Malaysia, picked up my mom and went to Ole Miss. The moment I stepped into the ICU, I fainted. I had not seen him for almost 5 years, the moment I saw him, I couldn’t recognise him, he lost all his hair and he just looked like a sleeping skeleton! My heart was broken. When he woke up, he couldn’t talk we communicate by writing on a piece of paper. The first thing he asked if I was working there, he seemed expecting me.

I spent about one and a half month in Ole Miss with him. After the ICU, he was discharged and his condition gradually improved. He told me to go home as we still have 2 brothers back home. I left him, yes I left him and I never see him again…..He passed away on the 3 March 1994. My parents brought his ashes home.

I left my brother…this was the emotional baggage that I was carrying with me. I wanted to feel how he felt when he was alone overseas when he received the news he had cancer. I blamed myself that I left him! After 16 years, I made myself sick as I never forgive myself of leaving him. I punished myself! During the process of uncovering this pain, I came to realise this was the game that I had been playing with my brother…..again and again…My brother never blamed me of leaving him, in fact he was perfectly ok with me leaving him and went back to be with my other 2 brothers. Healing needs lots of unconditional forgiveness….I forgive myself of punishing myself for so long, I forgive myself of not trying to spend more time with my brother, I forgive myself of not being with my brother the moment he needed me the most, I forgive myself of making myself sick, I forgive myself of not forgiving myself……the moment I forgive myself, the healing began and after 3 months of unconditional loves from my parents…my tumor disappeared without chemotherapy, radiotherapy or surgery.

How do know when I am healed?…………When I can tell the story and it doesn’t bring up any pain….I finally realise I am healed….In fact, now I talk about my brother, I can feel him, he just next to me and look at me and tell me how much he loves me….


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Friday Words of Wisdom – Unconditional Love

Christmas is coming and we are busy giving and receiving….Christmas is also a time for family to get together and enjoy each other company…..I wish you all open your heart to give and receive all the unconditional love during this festive season….just like our fury friend 😉

 

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Merry Christmas to you all….lots and lots and tons and tons of LOVE xxx

 

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Why we like to ask why ? Why don’t we ask Why not ?

Chuah Huan Bee is my dear Aunty, she told me to ask myself WHY NOT me who had cancer rather than asking why I am the victim of cancer!

When there is a tragedy or illness, we tend to seek for answer outside ourself because it is much easier and less painful….and we continue attracting the same energy again again and again.

Asking why is in denial! Asking WHY NOT is seeking salvation….the undoing of fear and separation……and the journey to the greater joining and The New Begining. This is my experience, what about yours?


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Speak from Heart……Listen with LOVE

Whenever I met up with friends who I haven’t seen for a while, the first question they asked was “You look great! How’s your health? Or are you in remission? ” I used my mind to listen to them and I get “upset”! My mind was telling them what do think? You said I look great then ask how was my health? Then my mouth speak ” I am excellent! Look at me! it has been 2 years now and I am still here! I think my friends still could not believe I did not go through the conventional treatment and I am still alive today! I used to also tell them I am recovering but then I told them I have recovered and now I am going to tell them I am healed because there is nothing for me to heal!

Recently, I have been nurturing my inner baby and shower myself with infinity unconditional LOVE. Last week, met up with a friend and he asked the same question…..suddenly…the ‘upset’ feeling gone….and I feel so much joy that I realized I am so blessed to be surrounded by friends who love and care for me so much that they asked about my health….because I listen with love not with mind…such an incredible shift from upset to joy! Today, again I bumped into an old colleague, she asked the same question and you could just feel her love!

Speak from heart and listen with love then our life will full of joy and happiness! Such a simple life equation! Try it!

Lots of Love,
IMmy xxx


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Higher Self…Lower Self….what about Middle Self?

Everyone of us want to be in The Higher Self but we always trap in The Lower Self (The Ego). My cancer journey helps me discover and nurture The Higher Self but The Lower Self keep pulling me off the track and trying to derail me! I think sometimes I fall in between…The Middle Self?

For those we don’t know about my exciting cancer journey…just a summary…doctors gave me a death sentence, I used diet (Gerson Therapy) to heal my cancer. After 3 months of intensive detox, juicing and vitamins. My bladder tumor gone and I am now working on my lymph nodes. This has been 2 years. No chemotherapy, no radiotherapy nor surgery!

The past 2 years I have been focusing on healing The Lower Self, which is my physical body, my tumor…as I believe we all do as we can feel, see and touch! Impressive results! Lots of hard work and dedication as Gerson is a very labor intensive ‘program’. My life changed completely! I feel like I am living in FEAR as I am unable to eat this, eat that! I have to constantly doing my coffee enemas, taking vitamins, juicing etc. My everyday work is juicing, eating, coffee enema and taking vitamins! This is now become my life…and I am ok with it! But inside me…I have the fear if I don’t do this or if I cheat then the cancer will come back! I don’t want to live in fear!

I started relaxing my diet…but still continue with the enema and juicing and vitamins when I feel like! Recently I have back pain and went for my 4 months review. I knew that if I told my oncologist, she was going to make a big deal and yes she did. She wanted me to go for a CT scan.

I am now moving from healing The Lower Self to The Middle Self then The Higher Self….I am practicing my mind to heal my soul….this is what exactly my blog is all about…healing the soul, the mind and the rest will follow…..it is a very big and brave step that I take…as we always fall into The Lower Self!

I am sick because I made myself sick! Why? Because I need attention! Who doesn’t like attention! I need attention from my parents, my family, my friends…..well….now I have all the attention and the healing start! Does this sound like you?

I started appreciating my parents and my family. I want to go home more, I want to spend more time with my parents and family. (FYI, I migrated to Australia and my parents are in Malaysia) I have a physical home here in Australia but my home is still HOME in Malaysia! I still recall when I attended my Australian Citizenship ceremony, a question suddenly popped up in my mind ” Where do I want to be buried when I die?’ My immediate answer is Malaysia!

I am sick because my body is not in harmony with my mind and soul….not in balance, just like the Yin and Yang. How to balance the Yinyinyang2 and Yang? Energy, Energy is Love, Love myself, Forgive myself and practice gratitude! I have been also practice Zhi Neng Qi Gong and I am now more sensitive and aware of the energy…it is so amazing and powerful….I can feel the energy ………just like I am the energy and the energy is me! It is just so peaceful and joyful!

So, am I gliding towards The Higher Self or I am still cruising in The Middle Self? or do I really care? as long as I am not in The Lower Self!

Would love to hear from you if you are in either The Lower Self, The Middle Self or The Higher Self?

Love,

IMmy xxx


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Beautiful Blogger Award!

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Thank you Clark Kent for the nomination for Beautiful Blogger Award.

Beautiful Blogger Award Rules:

The idea behind the Beautiful Blogger Award is to recognize some of the bloggers we follow for their hard work and inspiration.

1. Copy the Beautiful Blogger Award logo and place it in your post.

2. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog.

3. Tell 7 things about yourself.

4. Nominate 7 other bloggers for their own Beautiful Blogger Award, and comment on their blogs to let them know.

 

7 things about myself

1. I juice 2L of carrot juice everyday and carry on my backpack to work!

2. I do 100 times of Qi Gong Wall Squatting everyday!

3. I have coffee enema everyday! 😉

4. I practice Zhi Neng Qi Gong everyday!

5. I call my mum every week!

6. Everyday I wake up I ask The Universe to guide me!

7. I practice forgiveness and forgive myself for listening to THE EGO!

 

Beautiful Blogger Award Rules:

The idea behind the Beautiful Blogger Award is to recognize some of the bloggers we follow for their hard work and inspiration.

1. Copy the Beautiful Blogger Award logo and place it in your post.
2. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog.
3. Tell 7 things about yourself.
4. Nominate 7 other bloggers for their own Beautiful Blogger Award, and comment on their blogs to let them know.

The 7 bloggers I nominated

Clark Kent

Martial Arts For Life 

MUAGS

Candy Coated Reality

Amaryllis Log

Urban Wall Art & Murals

Trading Places

 


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Friday Words of Wisdom – The Power of NOW

We are so busy planning for our future and in the mean time living in our past…we forgot just to PAUSE and smell the roses….Living NOW

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When I was a teenager, I kept running after the boys….who I thought would become my boyfriend!

When I became an adult, I kept running after the men…who I thought would become my husband/partner!

And NOW, I stop running…and open my heart and soul to receive the people who care about and love me…..they are my parents, my family and friends…I am so blessed that I stop running and start appreciating….it’s that wonderful!

We can run away from our parents but parents will always there for us whenever we need them….that is what you called the unconditional LOVE! If you agree, please press LIKE!

This unconditional love in Chinese called 親情 Qin Qing!

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Guardian Angels…Did you choose them or They Chose you!

Do you have a guardian angel?How did you know if he/she is your guardian angel? How many guardian angles do you have? Did you find them or they found you?

My first guardian angel is my late grandma and she is still my guardian angel! I shared a room with her until I was 18 when I moved to Australia to further my study. She never been to school but she was wiser than any women in her generation! She said no matter how hard your life is, the harder you fell and rolled (just like a rock) one day you will become round and smooth!

I met my second guardian angel on the net, yes Internet! We only met once and it was 12 years ago! Sometimes I keep asking myself if he is real! He sent me energy when I needed, we never plan to meet again, we just go with the flow……when I am down he is always there for me! We both believe we are living in this big dream and we are all connected.

When I was diagnosed of cancer 2 years ago, my colleague became my guardian angel. He was my ex-colleague then became my boss I remember when I told him that I had cancer, he said ” oh shit! “. I somehow have faith in him than the doctors! He helped me peel off layers upon layers of my emotional baggages, just like peeling layers of onion….then a year later, he was asked to break the bad news to me that I was made redundant from my job as an engineer! He is still my guardian angel and now we are working on the same project but representing different firm! I don’t think I can get rid of this guardian angel! He is there whenever I need him!

My latest guardian angel…..found me yesterday! I never met him, I think is him still not sure as he might be a her! He helped me realized my real FEAR, it was such a powerful insight of realizing my MIND is my FEAR! I always know that I have fear….the fear of being not good enough, the fear of being rejected, the fear of my cancer will come back, the fear of breaking the news to my family, the fear of not having a job and income……All these fear are from my mind….they are not real! I really blessed that my guardian angel just knock on my door and shower me with lots of love and guide me to the next level!

I didn’t choose my guardian angels, they chose me! Guardian angels are everywhere, if you listen and ask, they will come and knock on your door, don’t let fear stop you from unlocking the door and let the guardian angel come in and shower you with loves!

Lots of love,
IMmy xxx