10 September 2010 around 9am, I was on the way entering to a meeting room then my mobile rang, it was from the clinic. My GP wanted to see me immediately about my biopsy test result. I told her I would see her after my meeting around 12 noon. After the meeting, on the way driving to the clinic, the car radio was talking about cancer, I was prepared as it was so hard to get an appointment with my GP and suddenly she was available to see me immediately. When I was in the GP ‘s room, she was very nervous, I asked if it was a bad news, she said yes, and told me the lymph nodes test result shown cancerous but it was secondary cancer ! I was very confused, secondary? She told me my cancer had already spread to my lymph nodes, and needed to find out where was the primary cancer. She looked at me and said ” You look very calm !” I told her that I was prepared as my brother had leukemia and he died of chemotherapy. She printed out the test report and passed it to me, I was overwhelmed with all the medical terms. Then she asked if I would like to go to public or private hospital, I asked for her recommendation and she recommended public hospital which was Alfred Hospital. I went to the car and rang my boyfriend, he cried. Then I rang my cousin Mei Qi, she immediately asked me to go home and she would meet me at home. Then I rang the office told my boss, Glen. Glen was really cute and asked if I wanted to catch up for a drink to talk about it! I didn’t go for a drink, but I could feel Glen was worried about me and was trying to help.
Mei Qi arrived not long after I got home. We were very calm, no crying or emotional feeling. We were like just handed an “IMmy” Project, Mei Qi immediately jumped straight on to the computer and started goggling all the medical terms. She read the test report and explained to me, what is carcinoma, CA125, CK20, metastatic, etc. She is such a loving and caring cousin! That day we both learnt so much about cancer. We kind of understood the report but didn’t know what to do next, as the report indicated the “Immunohistochemical profile in inconclusive in terms of tumor origin”! My Biopsy Report It was Friday and I still did not know when I could be admitted to the Alfred Hospital to see the oncologist. The next day was my company annual dinner, I decided to go and enjoyed myself. The moment I arrived, as usual our MD, Dominic greeted us at the front door, the first word he said to me, “Im, I know you do not have family here, we are your family!” It meant a lot to me.
I went to work on Monday, rang Alfred Hospital to check when I could be admitted, they told me a couple of weeks and they would send me a letter to inform me. A couple of weeks! How was I supposed to wait for a couple of weeks! I knew I have cancer but I could not get an oncologist. I was very emotional at work and could not really focusing and colleagues asked me if I was ok. Then I told them I have cancer but I could not get an oncologist and I do not know what to do! Gradually, the more people I told about I do not know what to do. One day, Roger sms me and told me his wife worked in Peter MacCallum and she knew many oncologists that she could recommend and asked if I had private health insurance. I rang Dr, Sullivan the next day and got an appointment the following day and he immediately admitted me to the hospital for bladder biopsy, PET scan, mammogram, etc to confirm the source of my cancer which was bladder. Then I received letter from Alfred Hospital.
So What to do When you don’t know What to do is to tell The Universe your challenge and you would be guided by The Universe ! That was one of the most challenging part of my cancer journey…..the unknown which lead to fear…..I want to thank Mei Qi for her love and support throughout my cancer discovery journey, I still recalled the day when I was hospitalized during my bladder biopsy, she was next to me on my bed and told me. ” Im Jie Jie (means sister Im in Chinese), I am sorry if I didn’t show any emotion about your cancer it is not because I don’t love you, but I always believe in you that there is nothing you are unable to resolve!” I was so touch, cancer bring us closer then ever before!
Every morning when I wake up I will ask The Universe to guide me. Have you asked The Universe to guide you today?
Would love to hear from you What do you do When you don’t know What to do?