Immy Chua

Just Being and Let things Happen….

What to do When you don’t know What to do?

18 Comments

10 September 2010 around 9am, I was on the way entering to a meeting room then my mobile rang, it was from the clinic. My GP wanted to see me immediately about my biopsy test result. I told her I would see her after my meeting around 12 noon. After the meeting, on the way driving to the clinic, the car radio was talking about cancer, I was prepared as it was so hard to get an appointment with my GP and suddenly she was available to see me immediately. When I was in the GP ‘s room, she was very nervous, I asked if it was a bad news, she said yes, and told me the lymph nodes test result shown cancerous but it was secondary cancer ! I was very confused, secondary? She told me my cancer had already spread to my lymph nodes, and needed to find out where was the primary cancer. She looked at me and said ” You look very calm !” I told her that I was prepared as my brother had leukemia and he died of chemotherapy. She printed out the test report and passed it to me, I was overwhelmed with all the medical terms. Then she asked if I would like to go to public or private hospital, I asked for her recommendation and she recommended public hospital which was Alfred Hospital. I went to the car and rang my boyfriend, he cried. Then I rang my cousin Mei Qi, she immediately asked me to go home and she would meet me at home. Then I rang the office told my boss, Glen. Glen was really cute and asked if I wanted to catch up for a drink to talk about it! I didn’t go for a drink, but I could feel Glen was worried about me and was trying to help.

With my lovely Mei Qi climbing Mt KK May 2012

Mei Qi arrived not long after I got home. We were very calm, no crying or emotional feeling. We were like just handed an “IMmy” Project, Mei Qi immediately jumped straight on to the computer and started goggling all the medical terms. She read the test report and explained to me, what is carcinoma, CA125, CK20, metastatic, etc. She is such a loving and caring cousin! That day we both learnt so much about cancer. We kind of understood the report but didn’t know what to do next, as the report indicated the “Immunohistochemical profile in inconclusive in terms of tumor origin”! My Biopsy Report It was Friday and I still did not know when I could be admitted to the Alfred Hospital to see the oncologist. The next day was my company annual dinner, I decided to go and enjoyed myself. The moment I arrived, as usual our MD, Dominic greeted us at the front door, the first word he said to me, “Im, I know you do not have family here, we are your family!” It meant a lot to me.

I went to work on Monday, rang Alfred Hospital to check when I could be admitted, they told me a couple of weeks and they would send me a letter to inform me. A couple of weeks! How was I supposed to wait for a couple of weeks! I knew I have cancer but I could not get an oncologist. I was very emotional at work and could not really focusing and colleagues asked me if I was ok. Then I told them I have cancer but I could not get an oncologist and I do not know what to do! Gradually, the more people I told about I do not know what to do. One day, Roger sms me and told me his wife worked in Peter MacCallum and she knew many oncologists that she could recommend and asked if I had private health insurance. I rang Dr, Sullivan the next day and got an appointment the following day and he immediately admitted me to the hospital for bladder biopsy, PET scan, mammogram, etc to confirm the source of my cancer which was bladder. Then I received letter from Alfred Hospital.

So What to do When you don’t know What to do is to tell The Universe your challenge and you would be guided by The Universe ! That was one of the most challenging part of my cancer journey…..the unknown which lead to fear…..I want to thank Mei Qi for her love and support throughout my cancer discovery journey, I still recalled the day when I was hospitalized during my bladder biopsy, she was next to me on my bed and told me. ” Im Jie Jie (means sister Im in Chinese), I am sorry if I didn’t show any emotion about your cancer it is not because I don’t love you, but  I always believe in you that there is nothing you are unable to resolve!” I was so touch, cancer bring us closer then ever before!

Every morning when I wake up I will ask The Universe to guide me. Have you asked The Universe to guide you today?

Would love to hear from you What do you do When you don’t know What to do?

Love,

IMmy xxx

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Author: Immy Chua

A day after I turned 42, I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Grade 4 bladder cancer….what a surprise birthday gift! 16 years ago on my birthday, my late brother was diagnosed with leukemia. He passed away after 6 months of chemotherapy. My doctors told me they were unable to cure me….as my cancer is an aggressive type. The statistic with chemotherapy treatment is 45% in 5 years. I refused chemotherapy because of my brother. So, I asked if I don’t do anything, what would happen? My doctor told me….if I don’t do anything, after 3 months, my cancer will spread to every parts of my body. I told my doctor, 3 months, I still have plenty of time to find a solution. So..I rejected the death sentence and went searching for solution……..My cancer journey start ….. This blog is about my exciting cancer journey which helps me to discover and reassess my life, my relationship with my family, my so-called career goal, my diet, my view, my belief…..everything…..for the past 2 years… I wish it will help everyone to look at illness as a blessing and opportunity to heal rather than seeing yourself as a victim.

18 thoughts on “What to do When you don’t know What to do?

  1. I so love this… “So What to do When you don’t know What to do is to tell The Universe your challenge and you would be guided by The Universe!”

    Im a strong believer that if you put good out into the Universe… then good will eventually make its way back to you!! Sending you love & light!! Hope you’re all healthy now!!!!!

  2. Thanks Candy…..for all your love and light…I am excellent and let’s keep sending love and light to The Universe and be well and happy…xxx

  3. Immy, Love your blog and the optimism and faith that it exudes. You have turned the cancer phobia on it’s head with your creative and powerful response. Keep it up and spread the word to others with cancer.
    Love,
    Your American Big Brother, Tom

    • Thanks Tom. Just wish to share that there is a natural way of healing cancer and degenerative disease than chemotherapy and radiotherapy! Life is all about forgiveness and love….heal from within. Lots of love IMmy.

  4. Thank you for sharing this with me, Little Sister. I am proud of, and inspired by, your resolve to find your own path. We should all look for positive meaning in the “bad” things that present themselves in our lives.
    Love and hugs,
    Marney xxx

    • Thanks My big sister, Marney. Guess, if anyone in my situation will do the same! We are so fear of the unknown….if we think of all of these are just a dream then we have no fear then good things will follow….Im xxx

  5. There are billions of universes about 90 billion on this planet each one with a universe inside each being waiting to be explored.. It can guide, create, and even eradicate anomalies that we seldom see. Yet when the inner places inside the universe are asked they guide in ways that seem outside yet it happens inside of us in every moment. This moment I am so happy and elated that I have found your blog my friend. It is beautiful inside of fear and magnificent inside of love. You see sometimes messages come and words are written and we at some point can point to where it came from. Yet you capture it perfectly! Amazing post!

    • Thanks my dear friend. My friend said my blog is very revealing….I think it is easier to get naked in front of the Universe! Are you sure you found my blog? I would say it was the energy that guides us to find each other and learn from each other! I have so much emotional baggages waiting to be transformed into energy…..your blog provide me the energy…

      • Did you find your answer to what is fear in it? Is the mental concept still in place to realize it’s removal is nothing more then embracing the now. For fear was mind created with a mental projection of a time that has only one outcome to the mind.. That is not you nor is it you. You may be the star in your mind, even the main character with many roles to play but once this is more apparent to you and you catch those mind played movies in fear of the mind. You now will create more than space around it you place love inside of it which is only in this moment. The now! And thank you for that! I am honored!

      • Yes, we are what we think! Today, I just told my friend that my cancer journey was planned by me the moment my brother passed away….which meant I made myself sick! ;)….. Will talk about this in my other post! Can we see I am full of fear but then no fear! 😉

      • Incredible… make sure when I post my dear fear letter the removal of the mistress from the affair after my divorce from my past post… LMAO… you will get a great kick out of it! It is 4 30 in the morning here and you have me smiling like a little school boy who has a peanut butter sandwich in his superman lunch box… Thank you for that! 🙂

      • You are most welcome Superman!

  6. Oh and yes I believe the energy did place us in direct connection with each other… 😉 You were looking for me as I was looking for you!

  7. Did you get my post my friend? Did you write your dear fear letter yet? CK

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